Jay Sandys, PhD + 1
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Message from Jay
I have over 27 years of clinical and business experience. I'm a strong believer in a person centered model that emphasizes being genuine, empathetic, and offering clients unconditional positive regard. My sessions are always highly collaborative and emphasize client autonomy. I help clients to address dysfunctional behavioral patterns that play a role in anxiety, depression, substance abuse, relationship issues, and career concerns. In addition to my work as a psychotherapist, I have also been providing executive coaching services for 7 years. My style is direct and supportive. While I will certainly give you my opinion at times, my focus is to help you to see your concerns clearly and to help you to harness your own motivation. I'm all about empowerment and self-actualization. Our collaborative work together can help you to gain a new perspective, and to design your own solutions. I'm passionate about helping individuals struggling with addiction, be that related to substances, spending, gambling, shopping, or other issues. While I work with all sorts of clients, I specialize in working with men, from those just entering adulthood to those well into middle age. I have a particular interest in working with senior executives and physicians.
About Jay's practice
Weekdays 9am - 5pm
Weekends After 5pm
Weekdays After 5pm
Weekdays Before 9am
$$$
Sliding scale
Directive
Reflective
In-person available: Yes
Virtual available: Yes
Existential Crisis or Transition
Burnout
Depression
Grief and Bereavement
Anxiety
Career-Related Stress
Addiction and Substance Use
Self-Esteem
Out of network providers
NY + 2 more
Why state matters
Get to Know Jay
"I have known Dr. Jay Sandys for over 14 years. He is a highly skilled, empathetic, and principled clinician. Dr. Sandys is clinically astute, and engages well with diverse clients."
José Hevia, LCSW, LP, Colleague
"Jay is extremely professional and genuinely empathetic. His years of experience as a counselor and clinician have made him an excellent therapist, well-equipped to help his clients overcome mental illness and personal difficulties. I highly recommend him."
M.D., Client
"I’ve been seeing Jay for over three years, having originally sought him out to address issues including substance abuse, anxiety, and depression. Since then, my life and mental health have improved dramatically, and I owe much of that success to Jay."
S.F., Client
Do you have experience (5-10 years+) working with any types of obstacles or people in particular?
I have over 27 years of experience working with people who have substance abuse issues, grief issues, mood disorders, and workplace performance issues. I have been providing executive coaching services as well for 7 years.
Please share 2-3 anonymized examples of how the work can play out and/or look in the room so that I can form a visual or narrative of what to expect.
Example 1: A client presented with depression, anxiety, and substance abuse issues. I obtained a detailed history of the client’s past, including treatment history, risk issues, family relationships, and current symptoms. The primary focus of the initial sessions was around building trust and rapport with the client, and assisting him with emotion regulation. The client eventually disclosed a history of physical abuse by his father. Simultaneous to the exploration of underlying issues, we worked on practical supports in the moment that included a psychiatric consult, attendance at a 12 step program, relaxation techniques, increasing contact with supports, and other methods to address current symptoms. Example 2: A client presented with work stress. Initial focus was on her giving examples of what she likes about her job, and what issues she is facing, such as conflict with her supervisor, poor work/life balance, and not feeling attuned with the overall company mission. It soon became clear that alignment with mission was an important variable for this client to feel work satisfaction. We continued to explore career goals, and along with this exploration other underlying issues became apparent, such as the client’s conflictual relationship with her parents and how this colored how she viewed other relationships.
Where did you work before going into private practice?
I have worked at a large hospital (in the psychiatric ER, Medical ER, and supervising a team of 25 social workers in various departments), in an outpatient mental health clinic, and at a Human Resources Consulting firm and Employee Assistance Program where I am still employed part time - In this role I consult with human resources about employees with performance issues due to mental health, substance abuse and other personal issues, as well as conducting organizational assessments and implementing solutions.
What led you to become a mental healthcare practitioner?
I started out with an interest in a more administrative role, working as a manager at a hospital and private business. My focus then was on positive social change, something I still believe in. However, I found working directly with individuals to be more personally rewarding, as behavior change in individuals is often more apparent than in larger systems. I continue to enjoy a blend of work at different levels, as a psychotherapist, executive coach, and consultant.
What is unique about the work you do, or how have you found your work to be different than your colleagues'?
I believe that all skilled and competent therapists have a lot in common. That being said, my unique attributes are a combination of clinical expertise, business experience, and a direct and supportive style.
What is the best part of the work for you?
The best part of the work is getting to know people and building a collaborative professional relationship that yields positive results for the client.
Is there ever a time when you would encourage me to leave or graduate? Or how do I know when it's time to end or move on, or time to stay and explore more?
I believe that the termination phase is an important part of effective therapy. When and how you terminate treatment is something you should openly discuss with your therapist, and something that optimally should be done collaboratively. I encourage clients to discuss whatever it is they are feeling, including if they feel it's time to end treatment. I would not usually encourage termination, but rather would explore the issue based on the client's initiative. I would also explore a barriers to progress with a client who did not seem to be benefitting from therapy.
If I have never been to therapy before, what should I expect? How do I know if I should go, and how do I start?
Therapy is a safe place for you to explore your feelings, look for patterns in your behavior, and come up with workable solutions and lasting behavior change. Like many things, how much you get out of it is often based on how much you put into it. Anyone can benefit from therapy, but I usually recommend it to people who are feeling stuck, and who can’t seem to find solutions to move forward on their own. What you should expect from a therapist is someone with whom you feel comfortable, someone who puts you at ease and who allows you to explore sensitive topics. Therapy usually starts with the therapist asking a lot of questions and getting to know you and the reason(s) you are seeking therapy. From there the treatment will unfold in a way that allows exploration of past and present, and often insight into behavior patterns and alternatives.
How will our relationship be different than relationships I have with friends/loved ones?
The therapeutic relationship is in many ways one-sided; it is focused on you and your needs, unlike friends and family members who will often have a more reciprocal relationship with you. The therapist also operates based on professional ethics and training, offering an objective framework to help you to address your concerns.
How should I prepare for my first session with you?
No preparation needed. Just try to be as open as possible to the process.
How participatory are you during sessions?
I can be quite participatory and engaging, but will assess the client’s needs and receptivity. I do not want to get in the way of clients’ self expression, and I believe that clients need to come to conclusions on their own. That being said, I can certainly offer my expertise and guidance when appropriate, and want clients to feel as comfortable as possible.
How much do you share about yourself during our time together and why?
I am careful about self-disclosure, and want to insure that any information I provide about myself is aimed at serving the client’s needs and not my own. I’m not opposed to some limited self disclosure if it serves to deepen the relationship with the client by illustrating empathy and shared understanding.
How long should I commit to being in therapy, at least in the beginning?
How long you should be in treatment depends on the issue(s) you are addressing, how long they have occurred, how severe your symptoms, how much your life is impacted, whether you’ve been treated for the issue(s) before, and other personal factors such as your support network, health, and family history. I advise having a discussion about it with the therapist, usually within the first 1-3 sessions. In collaboration with the therapist, you can determine what seems to be the best course of action for you. For people dealing with a long term issue, such as chronic depression, I advise at least a 9 month course of therapy, depending on progress. For people dealing with a more short-term adjustment issue, such as getting used to a new job, or some sadness from a breakup, a course of short-term therapy as short as 6 sessions could be enough.
How do you approach diversity in the room or working with clients who may come from a different background than you?
I am in favor of acknowledging diversity and differences in a open and respectful way, and in gaining an in-depth understanding of the client’s experience.
How can you tell if I am feeling stuck, unseen, or unheard?
There are many ways to tell if a client is stuck or is not feeling heard. This could come out behaviorally - e.g. missed sessions, arriving late; it could come out in the client seeming angry or reticent; it could come out in what a client says or how they say it. I like to look at all of these signs and have an open and frank discussion to get to the root of the issue, and help the client examine their behavior and reactions, not least their reactions to me in the moment.
How can you tell if I am benefiting from working with you?
Do you feel connected? Do you feel heard and understood? Are your symptoms improving? Is your work performance improving? Do family and friends comment that you seem to be doing better? Do you feel that therapy is helping you?
Have you received any particular training beyond your post-Bachelor's training?
My PhD coursework at NYU was focused on psychodynamic theory. I have had training in crisis intervention, motivational interviewing, cognitive behavior therapy, short term solution focused therapy, and complicated grief.
From your perspective, what is therapy?
Therapy is a collaborative process focused on client self discovery and self actualization. I consider my role to be that of facilitator. I provide a safe and supportive space for clients to explore issues and come up with solutions. I assist clients to discover patterns in their thinking and behavior through interpretation, application of psychodynamic concepts, and open and honest discussion.
Do you assign homework, activities, or readings for me to do between sessions? Why or why not?
I do not usually assign homework per se, but this would depend on the client’s situation and needs. I have certainly encouraged clients to take action steps between sessions (e.g. attend a 12 step meeting, monitor sleep patterns, keep a thought record, monitor grief symptoms), but my primary focus would be on helping clients in the session to determine their own level of motivation and subsequent action plans.
Are there any philosophies or values that inform your work that I should know about?
I am primarily a psychodynamic psychotherapist, which in practical terms means that I am interested in past relationships and developmental patterns, and how they relate to current thinking and behavior. I like to discuss issues in the moment, and help clients to see the connections to their past in order for them to deepen self understanding. I also use much more practical present-focused techniques derived from cognitive-behavioral and short-term solution focused theory. A grounding theory that informs all of my work is that of Rogerian client centered therapy; this perspective maintains that clients ultimately know what is best for them, and have the ability to heal and self actualize. Some of the tenets of this theory include being genuine, empathetic, and providing unconditional positive regard.