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Laura DeInnocentiis profile

Laura DeInnocentiis, LMSW

Message from Laura

One of my favorite quotes is, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Sometimes keeping ourselves comfortable means keeping ourselves in the dark. The fact that you are considering therapy means something is stirring inside you. Why not explore it? You have nothing to lose but so much to gain!

About Laura's practice

Availability

Availability

Weekends 9am - 5pm

Weekdays 9am - 5pm

Fee

Fee

$$$

Sliding scale

Style

Style

Directive

Reflective

Body-based

Method

Method

In-person available: No

Virtual available: Yes

Expertise

Expertise

Life Transitions

Grief and Bereavement

Depression

Family Dynamics

Trauma

Anxiety

Addiction and Substance Use

Insurance

Insurance

Optum

Oxford

United / Oxford

UMR

Aetna

Cigna

Wellfleet

Aetna Student Health

Aetna International

All Savers Insurance Company

Golden Rule Insurance Company

Meritain

United Healthcare Shared Services

United Healthcare Student Resources

Allied

Trustmark

Horizon Blue Cross Blue Shield

Boons Chapman

Nippon

Special Insurance Services (SIS)

Surest Health Plan

Wellfleet Student

Harvard Pilgram

Tufts

State

State

NY

Why state matters

Background
Profile

Get to Know Laura

"Laura’s intuitive understanding of her client's most difficult issues is impressive. She's always searching for the opportunity to increase their understanding so that they may take the proper actions to help themselves. Her colleagues are amazed at how she always puts her clients’ needs first. It's her gentle, compassionate empathy that makes her the wonderful therapist that she is."

Tom, Colleague

"Your group about guilt and shame gave me the courage to come in and share a secret I hid for 37 years. I learned that my unacceptable behavior did not make me an unacceptable person. Other therapists and doctors labeled me as a kleptomaniac. You helped me realize that my behavior started from a need to protect myself as a child and was encouraged by the people who were supposed to care for me. I’ve spent my entire life trying to fill a void by hoarding material things. Thank you for showing me that it is possible to feel comfort just by talking with another person who understands me."

Anna, Client

Where did you work before going into private practice?

I proudly worked as a NYC teacher and early childhood educator before transitioning my career to the mental health field. Before joining Resilience Lab, I worked as a counselor at Realization Center, an outpatient mental health and substance abuse program in New York City. Prior to that, I spent a year as a school social worker for students and families in temporary housing.

What led you to become a mental healthcare practitioner?

I love helping people and have always been curious about the mind and human behavior. When I moved to NYC at 18, I volunteered for several different organizations. I started at the Gay Men’s Health Crisis as a “buddy,” providing social-emotional support to people with AIDS. Over the years, I worked at the Family Center, the Bowery Residents’ Committee, and the pediatric unit at St. Luke’s Hospital. As an educator for over 25 years, I wore many hats. I was fortunate to have the opportunity of teaching in one of the lowest performing schools in the city as well as directing a prestigious private school in Manhattan. These two extremes, and my experiences in between, allowed me the privilege to see others’ challenges from different perspectives and led me to become more involved in the change process.

What is unique about the work you do, or how have you found your work to be different than your colleagues'?

While I may not disclose my personal experiences, I have worked through trauma and other challenges in my life that have helped to shape who I am. I believe in post-traumatic growth, defined as positive psychological change experienced as a result of adversity. Working from this perspective allows me to be authentic in my approach, while providing empathy, sensitivity, and hope.

What is the best part of the work for you?

I often use the metaphor of gardening when describing therapy. At first, we work together to prepare the ground, getting rid of anything that will immediately stand in the way of your growth. As soon a fertile foundation is established, we begin planting seeds to explore. You nurture those seeds with the skills, tools and awareness developed during treatment until they reach full bloom. For me, the best part of the work is watching clients experience “A-ha!” moments, when their seeds start to grow and blossom--then you know positive change is happening!

Please share 2-3 anonymized examples of how the work can play out and/or look in the room so that I can form a visual or narrative of what to expect.

The following names were changed to maintain confidentiality. a. Mike, a 36-year-old gay Black man, came to therapy seeking help for his alcohol problem. His progressive drinking had contributed to the end of a marriage and to the recent loss of a job. As a result, Mike temporarily moved in with his mother, the same person who disowned him for nearly 10 years when she learned of his homosexuality. While she eventually accepted Mike back into her home, she continued to control him and shame him about his sexuality. Mike and I explored his chronic depression and anxiety he had been trying to alleviate with alcohol. We also revisited a specific traumatic event that occurred at a pivotal time in Mike’s development, which left behind a deep “mother wound.” Mike continued to seek his mother’s love, acceptance, and approval but was consistently disappointed. Our work focused on breaking down his protective defense mechanisms and allowed him to experience the intense feelings he had been suppressing for so many years. He learned to express his pain and anger instead of turning it inward. Mike developed healthy substitutions to cope with his feelings in place of drinking, which boosted his self-esteem and decreased his feelings of depression and anxiety. Gradually, he set appropriate boundaries with his mother and began accomplishing his own goals. b. Sara, a 68-year-old Jewish woman in her second (unhappy) marriage, stopped practicing her religion after her eldest daughter died of cancer 8 years ago. She came to treatment after experiencing extreme anxiety around her grandson’s wedding. The only way Sara believed she could cope with attending the wedding was by numbing her pain with drugs. She ended up overdosing on tranquilizers and passing out during the ceremony. When Sara came for her first session, she cried while relaying this story. As I listened, I observed her body language and facial expressions whenever she mentioned her daughter, the groom’s mother. After asking several questions, I realized that Sara was experiencing symptoms of complicated grief, exacerbated by the fact that her daughter was not alive to be at her own son’s wedding. To begin the healing process, it was important for Sara to start addressing her negative thoughts, dysfunctional behaviors, and difficulty managing her emotions and focus on what brings purpose and meaning to her life. She momentarily shifted her attention to her grandchildren but soon began lamenting the death of her daughter again. I stayed with Sara by asking how her daughter would respond to what she was saying. Suddenly, Sara’s eyes widened and her face glowed. “She’d say, ‘Shut up, ma! Get over this already! Get on with your life, go on a cruise!’” Sara laughed. This brief respite from grief was a crucial first step in her adapting to the loss of her daughter.

Is there ever a time when you would encourage me to leave or graduate? Or how do I know when it's time to end or move on, or time to stay and explore more?

Yes, “graduation” is the ultimate goal! Depending on what challenges you bring with you, therapy can last for weeks, months, or up to a year. The hope is that you will leave your sessions each week with more tools to carry with you into your life. We are always evolving, and therapy is part of that process. We will assess and evaluate your progress and determine when it is time to decrease our visits, schedule periodic check-ins, or terminate completely.

If I have never been to therapy before, what should I expect? How do I know if I should go, and how do I start?

One of my favorite quotes is, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Sometimes keeping ourselves comfortable means keeping ourselves in the dark. The fact that you are considering therapy means something is stirring inside you. Why not explore it? You have nothing to lose but so much to gain!

How will our relationship be different than relationships I have with friends/loved ones?

While we will develop a strong relationship over the course of our work together, we will maintain healthy boundaries to ensure a safe, confidential, and professional therapeutic alliance. This will allow me to remain objective and keep your best interests in mind. Friends and loved ones carry inherent biases that prevent them from looking at you objectively. My role is not to give advice or suggestions but to guide you down a path of self-discovery.

How should I prepare for my first session with you?

Come with an open mind and a willingness to change.

How participatory are you during sessions?

I am 100% participatory in sessions. However, what this looks like may vary between clients and between sessions. For example, my participation could include reflective listening, guiding a breathing exercise, teaching coping strategies, or working on emotional regulation skills. Since we are always in a constant state of flux, there’s no telling what your needs will be on a particular day or in a specific moment.

How much do you share about yourself during our time together and why?

Our sessions are dedicated entirely to you, and I will generally not share about myself unless I feel like it will advance our work in some way. If any questions pop up for you during our sessions, I encourage you to ask them. I will always be honest and transparent with my answers.

How long should I commit to being in therapy, at least in the beginning?

It really depends on your individual needs, which we can discuss during a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation. Considering the substantial number of personal and logistical factors, it is impossible to set a standard time frame for therapy. However, these guidelines may be helpful. Therapy can last a few weeks for situational problems, 3-6 months for certain behavioral problems, and up to a year and beyond for more persistent issues like trauma and mood-, impulse-control-, or personality-disorders.

How do you approach diversity in the room or working with clients who may come from a different background than you?

I welcome diversity and have experience working with clients of various identities with respect to gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, and religion. Your identity directly affects the way you experience the world. Therefore, it is important to understand how our similarities and differences impact our therapeutic partnership and the work that we do.

How can you tell if I am feeling stuck, unseen, or unheard?

I’m attuned to clients’ feelings and am usually aware if someone is struggling with an emotional obstacle or holding back. I encourage you to talk about your experience, so I can support you and adjust anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

How can you tell if I am benefiting from working with you?

When we meet, I will ask you specific questions to assess whether you are making progress with your goals. You will gradually notice more opportunities to apply the skills you learn in treatment to daily life situations. In time, you will become increasingly mindful so that you will be able to self-assess.

Have you received any particular training beyond your post-Bachelor's training?

In 2005, I completed the clinical psychology Master’s program at the New School of Social Research and graduated with a certificate in Mental Health and Substance Abuse Counseling. I earned my MSW from Columbia University in 2019. I continue to participate in various trainings and workshops to advance my clinical expertise.

From your perspective, what is therapy?

Therapy is a life-enhancing process that involves willingness, courage, and trust. Having a safe, non-judgemental space to express yourself provides the freedom to unpack unresolved trauma, uncover unhealthy patterns, find solutions to problems, and ultimately reach your full potential. It is not a one-size-fits-all approach, but a dynamic and collaborative partnership between client and therapist.

Do you have experience (5-10 years+) working with any types of obstacles or people in particular?

I have extensive experience treating addiction and the many co-occurring disorders that often exist alongside substance use disorders: depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, PTSD, among others. My background also includes couples, family, and group counseling.

Do you assign homework, activities, or readings for me to do between sessions? Why or why not?

Yes, I believe the work done in session must be practiced in the real world in order for it to be effective. The more work you put in, the more benefit. Think of it in these terms. If you were coming to me to improve your physical health, I would likely spend time providing you with education about your body and how it works, recommending nutrition plans, and teaching you several workout routines. However, if you leave without practicing what you learned between sessions, results are unlikely. Rest assured, assignments will be tailored toward your individual needs to ensure success.

Are there any philosophies or values that inform your work that I should know about?

I like to remind my clients of one of Confucius’ tenets: “To rank the effort above the prize may be called love.” It reminds you that your worth lies in the dedication and work you put towards self-love, personal growth, and positive change–and that the outcome is something separate, out of your control, and therefore, of less personal value.