We all know when Valentine’s Day is coming. Stores are draped in red and pink and we have hearts coming out of our ears!
I don’t know about you, but Valentine’s Day is my least favorite holiday. Whether you’re in a relationship or not. If you’re single, this day reminds you that you don’t have that “special someone,” even if you don’t want to be in a relationship. It is hard to feel like single is an acceptable choice when love is being shoved down our throats.
If you’re in a relationship, it’s a game of expectations versus reality, living up to the hype, and having a better date planned than that one friend who is always somewhere amazing around the world.
This year, I’ve pledged to do it differently. No flowers, no chocolate, no dates, just some good, old-fashioned self-love. I decided its time to remind myself how awesome I am, with or without a partner.
I’ve found that when I feel good about myself, I am better able to connect with others and feel confident in social settings. It’s kind of like my bank account: when I put money in, I feel less desperate and anxious about getting more. When I treat myself, I feel like I “need” a partner less.
“This year, I’ve pledged to do it differently. No flowers, no chocolate, no dates, just some good, old-fashioned self-love.”
So what are some kick-ass things to do that remind you how great you are? My go-to is always to get a massage. It helps me get out of my head, and really sink into my body sensations.
“I’ve found that when I feel good about myself, I am better able to connect with others and feel confident in social settings.”
Another good choice to help get out of your head is a yoga or meditation class.
Other ideas might be to get out and connect with nature, go for a hike, take a bath, read a book for fun, get your favorite food for dinner, or open that bottle of wine you’ve been saving for a special occasion.
Whatever you decide to do, I hope it is intentional. You are incredible and unique, and its time to remind yourself, before you forget!
Claire Hapke, PsyD is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who recently relocated to Brooklyn. She was born and raised in San Diego, California and later attended Boston University where she received her Bachelor of Arts degree in Art History. She then received her MA and PsyD in Marriage and Family Therapy from The California School of Professional Psychology. Dr. Hapke has experience providing counseling services in a variety of settings including a domestic violence shelter, high school, private practice, and a community counseling agency. In her practice, she sees individuals and couples in their 20s and 30s. She specializes in supporting clients struggling with quarter-life crises as well as helping couples achieve new levels of intimacy in their relationships. Learn more about Dr. Hapke through her website and schedule your appointment today.
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